Do most men and women realize that the wife will outlive the husband by several years? What shall I do?
Yesterday my wife gave me the husband who is 57, she is 55, the grim statistics that she will probably outlive me by 5 to 10 years or more. She demanded that I start going over all the financial details and start giving her more control over our financies. Do you think I should let her take over our financial assets. She also reminded me that almost one third of men will have prostate problems and perhaps one quarter get prostrate cancer. I knew women lived longer then men, but I never believed by how much. I guess in the end women are indeed stronger then men. Help!
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Should you start “giving her more control over finances”?
Unless she is dim witted, she should already share equally in the business of marriage.
You should (together) set up a trust for all of your assets, and you should each write your POA’s. See a lawyer.
You need to help her set it up so she will be able to take care of herself when you go……..
in the mean time, eat right, exercise, get your prostrate checked.
Larrie, I don’t think you need to fret…we are over 40′s and well my hubby is in the military as a career. He can and does run 5 miles every day, but his cholesterol is bad and he smokes. Me I had a totally unexpected thing happen to me a few years ago, and had to undergo cancer treatment.. Being 55 and 57 ( and by no means are either of you old), and seeing how I went from being healthy to feeling tired to going to the doctor and being told I had cancer…well I now consider my husband and I EQUAL…as in I had whatever advantage in years taken from me with the cancer treatment that I would have had and also threw in a few extra years I will not live and that he will probably die of one of the two reason all the men in his family had for cause of death…they either all developed cancer or had heart attacks. If I can take my huband’s family into consideration, My father in law ( who my husband takes after genetically), he has high cholesterol, insulin dependent diabetes and is overweight…and also goes out and plays golf three times a week and drives to see his sister 1300 miles away…oh, and did I mention that he is 78?
Does you wife want rid of you? I would never mention something like that to my husband. Bad enough that we went and had a will drawn and bought burial insurance…just so the kids don’t freak if one of us dies and they don’t have any money.I could understand this if you wanted something drawn up to take care of affairs should one of you pass, but not while alive. But recently We have been having to do this stuff with the parents not being in good enough shape to make these decisions anymore and having to deal with parents finances.
un true, my dear wife passes away 6 month ago god rest her i love her
Well, it is smart to protect yourself in case something does happen. My father has had a will since he turned 50, and he’s 63 now.
By doing this, you have a say as to how your assets are divided once you are gone, you have a say as to how you want to live (HIPAA stuff), and Power of Attorney will help if you cannot help yourself.
What you give and assign to people is up to you. Usually people do leave everything up to the spouse, or next of kin.
PS – tell your wife that you guys will work it out, and be sure to get yourself checked regularly for health issues.
Tell her to get a job if it’s your money she wants control over. She needs to learn to support herself if she’s not already; all women should because we can’t depend on men.
Yes, in general women do tend to live longer than men but, even so, men still live well into their seventies.
Sharing your finances does not neccessarily mean that you have to lose any of your control that you have at the moment…….it would just mean that, should anything ever happen to you, she is prepared.
If you are handling the finances well at the moment then your wife would probably just let you get on with it but at the same time know that she could ‘step in’ if required.
A century ago, the difference was only 2 or 3 years.
One reason for the big gap is that men don’t take their health as seriously, don’t visit the doctor as regularly, and blow off a lot of health problems with an “Ah, it’s nothing, I’ll be all right.”
So, take good care of yourself, and who knows — you may even outlive your wife. You wouldn’t be the only man who does.
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Proof again that marriage is all about love, love, love.
Tell her if she is so concerned she can buy a big life insurance policy on you, but if she does you had better watch your back.
Her interest in the take over of the finances is a heart warming example of her love and concern for your well being.
It could be much worse, she could be pushing you to take care of yourself, diet, exercise ,rest and preventative health screening.
Men die younger because they work much harder,endure much more physical abuse and stress, but prostate cancer is seldom fatal these days.
I personally believe married men die younger because they just can’t take it anymore.
I would not turn over control of the finances to her, put everything in an orderly system with the assistance of an accountant ,that can at a later date (when you bite the dust)
explain it to her.
If you turn over control to her, your days are numbered.
The average age for the long sleep in the genders is about 72 for men, and 77 for women in Canada and the US. While married men tend to live longer (up to an extra 5 years), married women have no such “bonus”.
Now, given your ages, that means you were married with the understanding that a woman was a full partner in a marriage. So…why does she *not* have any control over your mutual assets?
First thing you need to do is contact the requisite companies and organisations to add her name as an authorised signatory. Second step you need to do is sit down and explain all of your mutual assets. This will include what they are, how they fit into your portfolio, and why you have them.
Once that is done, you need to sit the two of you down and discuss each investment before it is made.
The only exception would be if your wife is having problems with any addictions (gambling, dugs, booze, etc). In any case, if the various accounts are changed to joint accounts requiring both spouse’s signatures, that would generally avoid that problem.
Good Luck!
There is no guarantee which person will live longer than the other. There are health issues that can kill your wife just as fast as they can kill you. If you want to start going over financial details go over them as they affect both either you or your wife, if she happens to die first. It sounds to me like she is simply “hoping you’ll be dead soon, so she can take over your money.” very sad. The finances belong to both of you.
Wow, romance isn’t like it used to be huh? It’s important to make sure both partners know about the financial matters just incase, if one of you died and the other had absolutely no knowledge in the running ofthe house they’d be completely stuck.
Just enjoy life, don’t be lead by statistics. My hubby’s only got one kidney, thryoid disease and older than me but so what. Either of us could get killed by a bus tomorrow, but you just have to enjoy this mortal coil and enjoy it with your loved ones!
We need to start funding more research into male specific illnesses. I know for sure that women would be up in arms if women were dying on average 5-6 years younger than men. But for some reason women do not think this is a big issue, as you never hear women say “Society needs to take steps to ensure men live longer”. You know women would be demanding money to if they were dying younger (ie. breast cancer research gets the lion’s share of all cancer research money, even though more men are affected by prostate cancer than women by breast cancer).
It is time for this issue to become a social movement. A call for equality for men. Men deserve to live as long as women.
Don’t argue men eat worse than women, because there are just as many fat women as men, and families eat the same food at the dinner table.
If you do not belive that females live longer then males, go on the many life expantancy calulators that are available free on the web. Usually the story will be the same, women outlive men by 7 or 8 years. Although a shock, you should not be embarrased by the weakness of men being male, but if you love your wife, try to reassure her that you will do everything possible to make sure that both you and your wife have a good retirement, and that if you go sooner you will provide for her, like you have done through out your life. As an example please read this,
Biologically, there is a clear superiority of women over men:
• Women live longer by at least seven years! In the animal kingdom, the female also lives longer than the male.
• Women are more resistant to infectious agents and even cancer!
• Women work longer hours during their lifetime than men. Women have less leisure time. • The infant mortality rate is less for girls than boys.
• In industrialized countries the greater longevity of women is an undisputed fact.
• Women are known to take better care of themselves, both physically and mentally.
• At any age, men are three times more likely to die of accidents, violence and cardiovascular diseases.
• Malignant cancer related to smoking and alcoholism occur more frequently in men.
layer of fat..
• Women are wealthier than men. The U.S. Treasury Department informs us that women die richer by outliving spouses and inheriting everything. • Girls mature, on the average, three years earlier than boys.
Old news…but not bad post.